astute comments

am finally through my creative block? But why? What has caused the bridge between myself and I that separated about a year ago? Or was it before that? I lost the desire to do anything creative sometime last year. I was deeply involved in my research, so deeply that I didn't see the emotional separation that was occurring. Recently, I went out for a night with the camera, and now, the block seems to be diminishing so quickly. One single night, a few decent images taken, and thats all that it took. I can remember the moment that it lifted, this block, this dead weight on my chest. It was also a moment I realized something that I didnt know yet, that I still don't know now, and that I am still in avoidance of discovering. But yesterday I realized I had a grounding again. Maybe I needed to sit in my own for a while. Everything in my life is going so good right now. After 23.5 years I finally feel apart of myself. Is it the fact that I feel happiness again, that I no longer feel shrouded with my own thoughts? Is it that I feel grounded toward someone or something? Is it that I finally accept who I am for what I am and that I have become the person I have always been that was just hidden by someone who was not good for me? Is it the idea of having a muse who could drive my work into a new level? Artists need muses; I need some grounding somewhere other wise I would drift in smoke across the sky. Which, is what I have been doing. Is it that I have found one? Is this just a temporary answer to a solution that will never be found? I should have known something in my last relationship was amiss, I stopped painting. I could only communicate via video and performance and theory and thoughts of art- but even then I felt lacking. I didnt feel complete in my art. I used to thrive on my creativity, my ideas, my desire to communicate to the depths of the soul who feels how I feel. Even to create an emotion in someone, anger, confusion, hatred, love- MY visual communication that spawns the primal emotional Jungian threads that connects us all as humans. Am I my own muse that keeps me fresh? Can one person be that muse? Can one emotion be that muse? Can one anything cause the desire to create again? Can one have so many muses that keep us going in creation? Then why is it I can suddenly work again? Was it one event? Was it a series of moments that has gotten me where I am able to create again? Could it be that it is having no muse at all but the idea of such? Is it similar to being in love with the idea of love- to create with the idea of one muse, or all the muses in my life? Do I even have any muses? Have I finally come to terms with everything and being able to handle it all; the 2 worlds in which I live in, the 2 worlds in which I balance to delicately. Is there a 3rd world in which I do not even being to share that I retreat into that carries me so carefully, that transports the ideas inside my soul?

My art is now complete with me again and I am now complete with it.

Maybe its just mindtiwst, 10 cent wings, and corona. Hey if its working why make changes?