I wonder when you stopped looking at me
stopped seeing me as more than a piece of overweight flesh that took up the space you wanted to sleep in

I wonder when I became the "easy friend" the friend you wanted to fuck and that was all.

You never wanted to marry me. I did ask. At least you never lied to me about that.
but you kept me around on my knees with my mouth open

and least I had your mouth open too

I am letting it all go.
All the memories
everything
because right now I still think it was all for nothing

and you won

Your happy with some japanese whore who is younger than your brother. Who probably doesnt do half the things I know that satisfy you. I am sure she never took you. I am sure she never will. I hope you are always bored. I know you will never be sexually satisfied

but for some reason I think she can satisfy your heart I never could do that

I made you who you are. Theres so much you showed me too
and now she has you.

And my bed remains empty

my eyes still swollen
my heart still bleeds

I know you never wanted me as I wanted you.

I think now you never wanted me at all.

And everything you ever said was a lie.

Joe said to me its not what happened in the end that hurts. Its coming to terms with what happened between the beginning and the ends that you know are lies that causes the pain.

i think he is right.