I am at a point in my life where I have determined that if you can not accept me, and like me for who I am- I am done with dealing with you.

This includes my family, especially people who say one thing to your face and another behind your back.

Over the past weekend, I took a car trip with my mom to see her parents (the people who I spent about 8 years of my life living with). These people have created a monster of an Aunt (who steals money, identity and has 3 children who appear to be screwed up- one with acceptance, another with laziness, and the last has some learning challenges but is a sweet kid who continues to get into trouble)

These said people, have milked my grandparents for all their worth. Yet, my Grandma continues to sign praises of their love and perfection. All while she pays for their homes, school, cars and god knows what else. I have never directly asked for money, but about 2 years ago my grandma sent me 3K to help me buy supplies and pay bills during graduate school. Sure she has provided money for me throughout time, but I have never asked her to do so, nor have I asked her to co sign on any one of my 70K worth of student loans or car debt. I have never alluded to financial issues and always felt they have over supplied my other relatives with money- while I am over looked. Because not only am I too proud to ask for help, but feel that after a certain age and level of involvement with a significant other- financial independence is necessary for maturity. Sure my parents helped me pay off my car last year, but I didn't ask, and sure they are bringing me to Italy in 3 weeks- but that too was a gift. I was never spoiled as a child and have worked a minimum of 30 hours a week since I have been 15. They never had it to give, so I never asked.

meanwhile, I have done nothing but try to be supportive of my grandparents aging issues, hep my mother with the transitions, visit them every couple of months and call almost daily. Including things like finding their dog when it ran away (all from the comfort of my home in NY- which thankfully is very far away from those people in Ohio)

so upon arrival of the visit, every time my mom leaves the room my grandmother talks about nothing except who perfect my aunt is (all while she never offered to help find the dog, inform anyone of its missing status, or do a million other things I would consider normal for a grown kid or grandkid to help 80 year old parents with such as:mowing lawn, going to the super market, helping replace the carpet in the bedroom where my grandfather fell down and bled all over the floor) no in fact, we drove over 400 miles to assist with these tasks- and yet every chance she had she said how great those people are. And every chance she had she did nothing but say how fat I was.

And finally 20 hours into our stay, I called her a fucking bitch and walked out of the house. I just am done dealing with the drama, the manipulation and hatered she makes me feel both toward her, other family members and the self doubt she plants into my very soul. Because the people who have no choice but to accept you don't- and I just think that is a bunch of shit.

So to leave out a lot of other details of the drama- it has come to the conclusion that the woman who wanted to battle my mom and dad for custody when I was 8, has not changed, but only gotten worse. And I can't imagine ever being like her, nor spending more than 45 minutes with her during a superficial meal or exchanges of polite hellos. I no longer want her to know me, or me to know her. Because what I have finally realized is I don't have to like her, I accept her for what she is and I no longer have to involve myself with her or my Aunt.