i have gotten to the point in my life that I am no longer really hurt by those that dissapoint me. This, I should say is probably a very sad thing to say- because, this means I have become calused and accostumed to people who do not follow through with thier promises.

bad realtionships, friendships and members of my family have all broke me of the crying that once happened when they dissapointed me.

Now, I expect it. and today, i am going to complain. I expect people to blow off important events: like birthdays, gallery openings, holidays and graduation. (being there, and/or presents also are included if you can do it for others you can do it for me also)

i actually am suprised when one calls to tell me that they arent comming. usually i have to call them to find out where they are or why they did not show up. I am forced to just assume people are not going to show up anyway- so when you notify me, it actually makes me laugh. i dont think that you're comming anyway so what ever it is now that has you not comming is no suprise to me, I find amusement as stammering for words on the phone or lengthy explainations about why you cant come be it you cant leave your dogs (when they are 15 lbs each and sleep all day and fit in the car nicely) or your daughters birthday or your desire not to leave your living quaters or your unablilty to do something along, or your napping, or you car, or you forgot, or you had a fight with someone else. a phone call isnt too hard to make.

but now when i get the call I expect it

maybe i am an asshole.