2 weeks today

it has been 2 weeks this morning that I had surgery.
I am feeling pretty good. I go back to work tomorrow. I still have some soreness but it is definfitly more than manageable. What sucks is this morning I woke up with a stuffy head. BOO

I guess I am handling everything going on very well. Mostly becasue I am ignoring it. I wont start to deal with the actual problems until next months appoitment when we sit down to talk about everything. At my post op, my doc just wanted to make sure I was healing and kinda said hey its the holidays dont think about it now and enjoy. So I am taking his advise.

I have been spotting for 2 weeks. What sucks is that due to the lovely female body when nervous or stresed we start our periods. So I started my period right before I had surgery. then I continued to spot for almost 2 weeks. It finially ended on Sat and POOF its the actual period week. (The cramps are AWFUL! becasue I think I am still a little swollen) So viva 3 week period. I can finially have sex, normal goold ol fashion sex and I wont becasue I feel like shit. I havent held out tho, Justin and I went toy shopping on Sat at TIB and I got a new little nifty thing that I have been using twice daily.... So much for holding out...

Today i am going to B&H video to get my christmad gift from justin.
nikon 5200

this means a whole bunch of pics will go up on my SG page along with getting some good new shots of myself, and getting some more slide work done since I have applications for residencies due soon. And I am also considering applying for spring 06 at hunter for an MA in art history. Which gives me about 6 months to get my french to a reading level. I can muddle through some stuff, but not enough to get where I need to be. Although, I think I would do better working toward an MA at columbia, I cant handle the tution or the loans or the added pressure of being at columbia. If I went to columbia, I would do the MA in Modern Art: Curatorial Studies Track / The Whitney Museum of American Art. It is a little more intense, and I also would not be able to work during it. Which , is kinda important since living in NY costs so damn much. I dont know I have a lot of time to think about all this, I just know when I gradutate from my MFA, I will want to be back in school becasue I dont know what to do with myself. I guess also, the problems stems from being torn between my love for art history and theory and my love for making art. Can they co-exisit for me, both in a professional and personal way? And what would I focus on if I did Art histry. My undergrad work was mainly japanese art histry and although i have a "knack" for it, I think that I dont want to work in it for the rest of my life. I think I would perfer working with live artists. Yet, I have started work on a pre-columbian west mexian subejct that I actually think I would be really good at. But in the long term the field work would probably be too hot for me. The equator in July! What am I thinking. and I have a passion for fertility figures- which would open up for me to current themes. at least in my own personal insterests. I just think hunter is a better option because I can afford it and attend at night but I know columbia has always been a dream for me (why didnt i go when they were sending me recruiting shit. I am such a fucking IDIOT) Columbia would set me up for getting a really good job, making connactions, and I could probablty focus on what I want better. But hunter is more affordable and since this is a personal endevor not really for a career, its more about me taking classes and loving what I do- Well I have till next fall to figure it out. I should really take a french class or 2 in the mean time- when I am done with my MFA that is..

Art is the only thing I know and love to the point of it is my very soul. I dont really think about much else.. art justin food sex. I just need to combine them all ( i am sure I have at some point) and i will have perfection.

I have been at home too long.. I really need to go back to work. Reality has faded for me. I lay around reading books and theory and think about all the things I want to do, and trying to sceme my way into at least developing a plan to see what happens. The last time I did this, I ended up getting in grad school and getting a full time job in the same week.

So the plan is as follows. Shoot slides, fill out application for skowhegan and hope for the best. Work my ass off from my MFA thesis execution and paint constantly. And graduate. After that: get new job.

So theres the next 6 months or so...
and theres always my obession with foresnsic science..