fat...

I know i am not fat, but today is my once a summer trip to the beach with my mom and I just can't deal with going.

Swim suits make you look fat. They don't flatter your figure.

And not only do they make you look fat they make you feel uncomfortable!

I am half naked. Actually its more like in my underware. And 5 years ago i was way more comfortable wearing my underware out than I am now.

And it doesn't help that my 40 year old mom is in better shape than me and doesn't look fat or anything. (she is a little taller than me, and is very thin and tan)
and I am very short, very pale, and very curvy. :(

I lost my 5 pounds I wanted to lose "to feel better" but I think I feel just as awful.

Ughhh I think i just like wearing clothes. Actually no, I do this in clothes too.

BAHHHH i hate when you feel like this.

I feel icky.